How did I chOOse CSE

We all deep down are concerned with who we are and what we want to be. Isn’t it? It defines us and assigns an identity to the individual. So was I, on choosing Computer Science and Engineering.

Pretty big technical word right? Let us roll back to the day when I was striving to know what I wanted to be, three months behind my College Entrance Examination.

I was preparing for some damn technical stuff, which I’d hate to study anyways. “Why these science subjects dude”, I said to myself in a shrill voice.

I rather loved spending my evenings surfing internet. Finding suitable courses, which would let me “NO STUDY” but yes? The only thing I possess.
Briefly, my machine could process what others let by, imagination.
My machine had mastered talking to itself hours long, till one interrupted my power supply and shouted out loud, “Where are you???... ”. Perplexed, I could only say, “Hey, excuse me please, I didn’t hibernate last night.”
Figured the best way to leave a conversation at least, let alone the search. Day after day, my disk space increasing confused emotions.

After a month, my search pointed out B.Tech (CSE, IT), B Sc (IT, Animation). I scrolled down subjects of each. B Sc Animation looked cool.
No serious studying, even more cool. “Yes! Yes! Yes! I have it”, I shrieked out on B Sc Animation.
After all there was some inspiration, “NO STUDY”.

By now, I had watched “3 idiots” three more times, that too in two days. So, I guess the “idiot” emotions were high. “No more studies after twelfth.” My thoughts revolved.

Amazingly, thereafter my infinite capacity (brain) machine processed and rolled onto a sentence, “Dude, at least pass your twelfth first”.
Probably the inspiration to not get stuck and spend one more year cursing besides the search headache.

GOOD, at least I sat in finals to clear all. It was all over within a month. The “dreadful torture of science”.

Now, all I had to do was to study, make my parents feel proud and still to decide, what to do.

My machine processing data at the verge of hanging up. I slept. The best option a student has. Hibernation mode went on way more those days and yes! NO STUDYING. One day to go and yes! NO STUDYING.

“Wake up dude, you’re already screwed anyways. At least cram the formulas.” My friend had called and blurted out; anyhow it worked on the next sentence.

“What will you tell your parents?” I could probably hear my processing speed gaining strength.

A fresh feel to start occupied the BTWS (Basic Thinking and Working System).

Deletion and installation worked simultaneously on “not studying” to “only studying”, as if they were brothers of a Bollywood movie, who last saw each others as kids.

I crammed whole day long as if three months wasted equals to the last day study.


“Good morning, all the best”, my mom woke me up. “Good morning”, I said and sat up. Mom came back fifteen minutes later only to find me sleeping, with my cell phone raising high pitch frequencies.

A new fresh day. “I am confident”, I told myself ignoring the geek guy cramming even outside the examination centre. Actually, he wore thick lenses and dressed horribly. His bag carrying loads… “NO”, I said. “Concentrate dude, you can do it”.
 
I figured a tape chanting mantras, whichever I could remember. I knew I was already screwed up, but determined enough to put a fight with whatever resources collected.

Within a few hours I declared myself “FREE” and marked “No studies”. Finally, I could concentrate on what I marked as more important and necessary. And the search goes on…

Month passed, I ended up watching heaps of my dvd collection. “Three”, I calculated, scribbling the average number of movies per day.
“Yes! Mom”, I answered and ran out.
”I love watching movies”, I mumbled.

Supreme Court sentenced me guilty for not having enough conversation with family. The enough could not mark enough for them.

After dinner I returned and watched out two more before hibernating.


Next day, my machine was back to the self talk mode. I thought yes! I love watching movies, why not try writing some.

”Lets try”, my senses signaled. I took out a fresh writing pad and started.

ONE MONTH LATER...
“He won’t get admission in any college”, I overheard. I had barely crossed the cutoff, but does it matter?

And now I could say, “The results are actually out.” For God’s sake someone had text ed my father.

Friends after all, will always help in trouble but creating them is their favorite part. Holding my self talk mode, I ran out.

Sat close as I prepared to listen high pitched frequencies, like is general. My ears served a tunnel allowing traffic in both directions.

I had to act feeling sad and sorry and the radio tuned to the frequencies of thoughts.

Wandering and surfing the channels, my radio found a match. “So he’s good with numbers and programming.”
I had once overheard my teachers’ way back in tenth standard. I had listened the whole conversation pretending another with my group.

“Perfect.”, I blurted out. I sensed mom and dad anxious more worried, staring with eyes wide open. I regained my senses and gathered courage. Taking a step towards, as I explained that I was good at…

I used word like passionate, interest, vision, clarity, aim etc. At least my ears temporarily escaped high frequencies and they believed in me.
“What more dude”, I guessed and quickly paced towards my room.

My personal computer refrained from commands for another five days. Meanwhile, my hands scribbled on the writing pad.
My machine gaining focus and found another world, which at least could be defined the way compatible.

“I said, he won’t”, my father shouted twice. “Oh! Crap”, talking to myself as I ran towards the drawing room.

My father wanted a conversation, which I knowingly tried to escape from past few days. We all settled down and questions followed.
I thought, “Wow, an Interview”. Yes! I am ready. The Will Smith style from “Pursuit of Happyness” was still fresh in my mind.

“Karan”, some old friend called out my name.
“God God”, I prayed for the millionth time.

“May I?” I said. Sensing the nodding expression after the high frequency signals, I stepped further.
“Call him in, here”, my father said. Internally shocked signals forgot to greet the old friend but signaled him to come inside.
After all the wishing and greetings, my mom asked,” Which college are you going beta?”
And for heavens sake, he answered spontaneously,” Aunty Surya World, ECE stream, main yahi batane aaya tha.”

Now, for one hour we discussed, actually they.

I held spectator sporting and served empty glasses and mouths, perhaps the best way to keep someone quiet I guess.

Happily everyone concluded and I ended up praying for the zillionth time.

I went out with him, thanked him too and a bit seriously inquired about the newbie college thing.


“We have four engineering streams”, the receptionist replied to my father. Afraid, I looked at her as if she’d said “We have Osama Bin Laden as the head of department”.

“Tu to gaya”, I mumbled, fearing what if these newbie’s don’t have CSE or IT.

“Cse, mechanical, civil, ece”, though my ears listened only the first but my machine performed a full fledged linear search and ended up traversing the whole sentence.

My eyes glowed on hearing the first as if she’d said, “We award degrees before admission”.

“What now? Choose wisely”, my father paused.

“Make a final decision, need time?” I nodded no and poured out “Cse”, with my c sounding longer than usual.

“Sure?” my father asked again. I nodded confidently and relating the “sure” to “confident” of Amitabh Bachchan in KBC.

We bought the college prospectus, filled some forms and came out of the engineering block. “Surya World”, I read out loud as I turned back.



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                                               Karan Sharma
                                               August 12, 2011